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© Rakhesh Sasidharan

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Thoughts on leaving things midway

When I was a kid I used to always finish whatever book I was reading. Once I reached college and was generally lost in life my reading habit took a turn for the worse and many a times I didn’t manage to finish what I began reading. I took this as a negative thing and much later when I became relatively less lost in life I started reading avidly again and tried to finish whatever I started. I didn’t read every book I bought – mostly because I was still sort of lost in life, but also because the books I started reading since college were mostly non-fiction and I just never got to reading them all due to changing interests. However, if I started a book, I did my best to complete it especially if it was fiction. 

I don’t know if this is a good decision though. I don’t have an answer either ways – I am just unsure. The reason why I take this habit of “not finishing a book” as bad is coz that’s what gets drilled into your head. If you start something but don’t complete, it’s generally frowned upon. Plus I read this essay as a child where the author said that young people do more coz they don’t have a choice – they are forced to do from school or parents etc and so they do what is told even if they don’t like, and generally manage to do something of it – but as we grow older we have choices and so become spoilt/ pampered and just give up at the first time something doesn’t go our way. 

I get these points but nowadays I also feel that maybe wasting time finishing something just coz we have to finish it is probably just a waste of time. Yes it’s an accomplishment that you don’t leave things half way, but maybe it’s better to just restrict this philosophy to stuff that matters? Like say if you are a person who does a half job of everything – then yes, not good! But maybe you try and do a good job of most things, and mostly succeed too, so perhaps it is ok to ignore it when it comes to some areas (such as reading)? I don’t know. 

If I am watching a TV show or movie and leave it midway I don’t chide myself. But I do when it comes to reading a book. That’s because reading a book is more effort than watching something, but end of the day both are entertainment after all. If the objective is to be entertained then why must I give more importance and suffering when it comes to reading?

One reason why I am thinking all this now is due to Audible. They have their Great Listen guarantee wherein if you don’t like an audiobook you can return it. That’s amazing coz sometimes I just don’t like an audiobook – not coz of the narrator or narration or quality etc, I just don’t like it. But since Audible is giving me permission to return it back I don’t have any guilt that oh I bought something and will be wasting money not listening to it. If I am not enjoying it, I can return it – period. There’s nothing Bad involved. Wish similar programs existed for eBooks too!

Recently for instance I started reading two books. “The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out Of The Window and Disappeared” and also “The Winter Fortress”. 

“The 100 Year” is great in movie form, and sort of interesting in reading form. I guess coz that sort of content translates well to a movie structure with good score and camera work etc; while if you are reading it all the coincidences and luck get trite after a while. 

“The Winter Fortress” is a great non-fiction book about the efforts during World Wor II to destroy a factory in Norway that produced heavy water (used in making nuclear bombs). I read about a third of it and it was a great read. I didn’t know most of it. Then I got side tracked with some other stuff (father in law passing away) and I lost the flow. Now I am trying to get back into it and not in the mood coz I simply have lost the flow. I tried to cheat by purchasing the audiobook version but a) I am still not managing to get into the mood and b) the narrator wasn’t that great (I didn’t like his voice). But I was able to return the audiobook thanks to Audible and so felt no guilt, but I had a heavy heart deciding what to do about the eBooks. Finally I decided it was pointless wasting more time with these two books and so decided to move on. And thought I’d write this post too putting my thoughts down. :)

Part of me feels bad at leaving these two books midway. But (a larger) part of me is relieved at moving on coz I would just have been depressed trying to get “entertained” with these books and not getting anywhere. 

Recently I also finished hearing James Franco’s narration of Stephen King’s “The Dark Zone”. This book was nothing like I expected – coz it was quite detailed and the overall plot was simple but what mattered was the details and descriptions and thoughts etc – and while I struggled to finish through it, I didn’t let go because it was manageable. I knew it was only a case of me expecting something else, but the book was well written and narrated and I could hold on till the end. Sometimes it’s worth it; sometimes (like now) it isn’t. Just got to make a case by case decision I think rather than some overarching “policy”.