I realize over time that I am not good at learning things. As in, if I have to pick up something because say it’s a new topic and I must read about it, or maybe there’s an exam/ certification I wan’t to clear and so must study for it – I just can’t do these kind of tasks. I am also not good at just picking up stuff by doing it – like say maybe learn Linux but installing a distro and spending some time with it. I just don’t work that way.
I knew this from before but used to consider this a negative quality of mine, mixed with fears that maybe I am not good enough. But nowadays I realize that while it still is not a good way to be, that’s just how I am and there’s no point overly thinking about it. Just have to take it in the stride.
Like now for instance – I attended a Citrix course some months back and want to do its certification. Thought I’d get the list of objectives and course material and read through it and prepare myself. But I am just unable to focus. Knowing this nature of mine I had previously tried setting up a Citrix lab to get a hang of stuff. While that was a better success than this current idea of reading, that too didn’t get to the point I want to because I am not good at creating my own objectives – especially when I know it’s a “fake” one. It’s sort of like how I enjoy walking, but ask me to do a treadmill or just walk outdoors for exercise and I can’t do it. I’ll walk if there’s a need to – I don’t hate walking, in fact I love walking and think I am quite good at it – but I am not going to go for walks just for kicks. Weather and mood permitting I might for a walk just to listen to some podcast or an audio book; but that wouldn’t be coz I want to walk, it would be coz I want to listen to something and walking will let me do it peacefully.
This is a difficult situation to be in when you are an IT professional. If your workplace is one where there’s plenty of new projects happening or things to do, it is a good state coz I know I will jump into these and quickly pick stuff up and do wonders; but if your workplace is not of that sort then I will get bored and get into a rut soon – stagnating and becoming pretty useless. This nature leaves me at the mercy of my environment than letting me be a self-driven person. That sucks!
Anyways, time to go back and read Citrix. Enough distractions via blogging. :)